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Heritage? Anglo-Hispanic-African-Chinese-Portuguese-Congolese,
you name it. Comrade Joe is a pleasant, cultured, and handsome
man schooled at the Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina.
Currently Commandant of the current military junta running
the island (it's a very small junta). His official title
is President-for-Life.
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Vice-president
George Bush after being briefed on coup in Poco
Cabesa.
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Comrade Joe used to
be Staff Sergeant Joe Jones in the People's Army of Poco
Cabesa. But, a little while back he and a few other sergeants
overthrew the President-for-Life at the time, Comrade
Joe the First (who also happens to be Joe's Uncle Joe),
and took charge.
The new Comrade Joe,
whose idol is Lee Kuan Yew (the man who made Singapore what
it is today), dreams of turning Poco Cabesa into a resort
and banking haven to rival the Caymans.
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Joe thinks a parliamentary
dictatorship guided by laissez faire economics is
just the ticket for stable growth and social order. And
he's sure that, if he can aggregate the island's meager
total monthly stipend into a lump sum for collateral, he
can scrape up the seed money he needs to get his dreams
started.
Unfortunately, Joe's
understandably miffed uncle took off into the jungle with
the island's tiny treasury, so Joe's current economic realities
include late payments to BP Amoco for the island's generator
fuel-oil and soldiers who thought revolution meant finally
getting paid.
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"Papa"
Willie Maloney Yu, legendary
Cold War era ambassador-at-large to the world.
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Cadet
Joe Jones was an honor role student at military school.
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Comrade Joe does control
the disbursement of monies from the Hyman Trust and, although
the people are guaranteed the dole, a little supplication
to the boss is always necessary in order to receive your
full allotment.
But, try as he might,
he cannot get his countrymen to pool their money and put
it toward a common goal.
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And his international
banking connection is doing eighteen months in Dade County
Jail for misusing hurricane relief fund donations. This
means his options are severely limited for the moment. But
he always has an eye out for an opportunity.
As leader of the government,
he owns and operates various businesses and services, including
the cable TV system, which runs off of Joe's satellite mini-dish
-- the picture's good, but you better be ready to watch
what Joe watches.
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Phillipe
Hemelmann being detained at Miami International
Airport in 1983 (from police video).
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What is the most
rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our
moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year.
It grows -- it must grow; nothing can prevent it.
-- Mr. Twain |
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