To be exact, Gertrude Medillo De Fromm Rogers Riley, Defender of the Realm, Keeper of the Kakapao. Oft-wed matriarch of Medillo Grande, the island's most famous enigma, she lives atop a mountain that dominates the tropical idyll which is Medillo Grande (it's really more of a large hill, but don't mention that to Gert).

As a direct female descendant of 18th century buccaneer, Henry Medillo, her word is law in this part of the island.

A wise and wizened old dame, Gert rules her several score subjects with a gentle hand but an iron will.

She assumed her lofty position as a girl in 1916, having just returned from schooling in Europe, North Africa, and Denver, upon the death of her 102-year-old mother (longevity runs in the genes in Medillo Grande).

Her first husband was Schuyler Sinclair De Fromm, a wealthy New Orleans playboy who ran his yacht aground off Medillo Grande the day of Queen Gert's gala 18th birthday party and coming-out dance.

Her Majesty and friends paddled out on surfboards and rescued all with the only loss being a case of superb champagne. Their whirlwind romance and marriage were the moveable feat of an eventful Caribbean social season (there was a revolution in Cuba).

Heartbroken Gert swore off men and concentrated her attention on her tiny realm and her handsome son (but she could not protect him from his own idealism and a round from a Japanese knee-mortar on Tarawa in the Pacific Theater of Operations during WW II).

In 1969, Gert deeded a short stretch of beach on the edge of Medillo Grande to Cap'n Roy Riley (his laugh was the first to make her laugh in twenty-five years). It wasn't long before he won her hand and what was left of Gert's heart with his boyish, cockeyed grin and innocent affection.

Alas, Cap'n Roy is gone now, too, except for the occasional spiritual apparition. Alone and childless -- but far from friendless -- Gert watches over her people and her kingdom like a hawk-eyed Dali Lama-ette.