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In its infinite wisdom, the 34th Session of the United States Congress legislated that any unclaimed and uninhabited island anywhere in the world that possessed guano (in other words, bird droppings in various stages of petrification) was U.S. territory if an American citizen claimed it first. Sounds fair.

 
 
Moonrise over Guano Heights, circa 1892.
 
  "Through the guano haze soars high the silver orb /Shall Dame Moon guide my nostrils to fortune or sorrow?"

 

  Final lines of "Through the Guano Haze," by Gerald Fitzwilliam Said, Poco Cabesa's first and only poet laureate  
 

Guano phosphate was an important component of fertilizers that became a mainstay of American agriculture in the mid-19th century. It can be said that today's huge fertilizer industries have their roots in the guano from hundreds of islands like Poco Cabesa.

At the time, the Act's stated purpose was to protect U.S. access to this precious resource. Some insisted it was a sell-out to political contributors associated with the Chicago Mercantile Board. Others claim it was just a ploy by Congress to keep their minds off "bloody Kansas" for a few hours and swap bad scatalogical jokes.

In any case, this piece of legislation allowed Hyman Klinkle to acquire the guano rights on Poco Cabesa.

And he made the most of it.

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...It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them...
-- Mr. Twain
 
 
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