| A few years ago, in the dead
of the night, while Joetown lay slumbering and its one-man
police force lay under a three-legged barstool drunk as
a stoat, Comrade Joe
the First's ambitious, Citadel-educated nephew, Sgt.
Joseph Chan Fourneux Jones, led eight other soldiers in
a coup that peacefully toppled his uncle's government (these
nine comprised the entire military force of the island). |
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| Great guano dust-storm of 1871 |
|
Perhaps "topple" isn't exactly
the correct word.
No, Comrade Joe the
First's nephew and his comrades merely applied a boot
or three to a door that had long been suffering from dry-rot
and moral turpitude.
At least that's what people said to his face. |
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| What they said behind his back didn't matter
and they didn't much care about the change in leadership --
at least the town's name wouldn't change again. |
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| In any case, while "Dutch" Reagan
was keeping Miami and Mobile safe from marauding Grenadans,
Poco Cabesa woke up one morning and found itself with a
new President-for-Life.
Actually, some people didn't learn about it until late
in the afternoon because they were sleeping off the previous
day's celebration of Dean Martin's birthday. |
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| "Go
ahead, Al. But I still don't see why we have to
invade Spain." |
|
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| Political
storm clouds over Joetown. |
|
The previous President-for-Life, Comrade
Joe the First, prudently disappeared into the highlands
of Medillo
Grande along with his French
wife (the reputed and much feared provider of said
turpitude, known by one and all as Comrade Joe the First's
Wife), there to become the island's second most celebrated
recluse.
|
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| Subsisting on fish, jungle plants, and a feral
cat whenever Fate sent one their way, like Napoleon on Elba
or Nixon in San Clemente, Joe the First found plenty of things
to occupy his time -- collecting beach flotsam under cover
of darkness, hunting palm crabs, avoiding his seething spouse
-- Joe never thought retirement could be this good. |
| |
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| "Hostages?
I thought he was trading arms for sausages." |
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Joe the First also took the liberty of vacating the
premises with what there was of Poco Cabesa's tiny treasury,
causing numerous problems for his nephew, including eight
disgruntled "revolutionaries" who were hoping they'd finally
get paid. |
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| "I
swear to tell the truth. This time. Really, I do." |
|
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| Undeterred, Joe the Only
set about doing what his uncle could not: Reinventing Poco
Cabesa (with apologies to Al Gore).
Among each generation of island residents there are always
reckless optimists who ignore the heat, the dust, and the
smell and struggle to improve their island home. |
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| Those with any sense usually leave
by whatever means available. |
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(Above) Misspelled official graffiti on bar-room
wall. |
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| But, this time, the citizens
had high hopes. Their new leader was an educated man who'd
seen the world (well, at least Charleston, South Carolina)
and he even had an undergraduate degree in accounting. Maybe
this time things would be different. |
Comrade Joe the Only's
alma mater |
| |
| The latest Comrade Joe intended to make his homeland
a thriving banking haven modeled on the Cayman Islands and
a peaceful nation of industrious, respectful and docile
citizens modeled on Singapore. What Comrade Joe likes to
call "compassionate Caribbean capitalism." At
least, that was the plan.
Unfortunately, Joe the Only has had little success in bringing
any progress to Poco Cabesa. But that doesn't mean he's
stopped trying.
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Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
-- Mr. Twain |
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