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A few years ago, in the
dead of the night, while Joetown lay slumbering and its
one-man police force lay under a three-legged barstool drunk
as a stoat, Comrade
Joe the First's ambitious, Citadel-educated nephew,
Sgt. Joseph Chan Fourneux Jones, led eight other soldiers
in a coup that peacefully toppled his uncle's government
(these nine comprised the entire military force of the island).
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Great
guano dust-storm of 1871
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Perhaps "topple" isn't
exactly the correct word.
No, Comrade
Joe the First's nephew and his comrades merely applied
a boot or three to a door that had long been suffering from
dry-rot and moral turpitude.
At least that's what
people said to his face.
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| What they
said behind his back didn't matter and they didn't much care
about the change in leadership -- at least the town's name
wouldn't change again. |
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In any case, while "Dutch"
Reagan was keeping Miami and Mobile safe from marauding
Grenadans, Poco Cabesa woke up one morning and found itself
with a new President-for-Life.
Actually, some people
didn't learn about it until late in the afternoon because
they were sleeping off the previous day's celebration of
Dean Martin's birthday.
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"Go
ahead, Al. But I still don't see why we have to
invade Spain."
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Political
storm clouds over Joetown.
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The previous
President-for-Life, Comrade Joe the First, prudently disappeared
into the highlands of Medillo
Grande along with his French
wife (the reputed and much feared provider of said
turpitude, known by one and all as Comrade Joe the First's
Wife), there to become the island's second most celebrated
recluse.
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| Subsisting
on fish, jungle plants, and a feral cat whenever Fate sent
one their way, like Napoleon on Elba or Nixon in San Clemente,
Joe the First found plenty of things to occupy his time --
collecting beach flotsam under cover of darkness, hunting
palm crabs, avoiding his seething spouse -- Joe never thought
retirement could be this good. |
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"Hostages?
I thought he was trading arms for sausages."
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Joe the First also took
the liberty of vacating the premises with what there was
of Poco Cabesa's tiny treasury, causing numerous problems
for his nephew, including eight disgruntled "revolutionaries"
who were hoping they'd finally get paid.
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"I
swear to tell the truth. This time. Really, I do."
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Undeterred, Joe the Only
set about doing what his uncle could not: Reinventing Poco
Cabesa (with apologies to Al Gore).
Among each generation
of island residents there are always reckless optimists
who ignore the heat, the dust, and the smell and struggle
to improve their island home.
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with any sense usually leave by whatever means available. |
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(Above)
Misspelled official graffiti on bar-room wall.
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But, this time, the citizens
had high hopes. Their new leader was an educated man who'd
seen the world (well, at least Charleston, South Carolina)
and he even had an undergraduate degree in accounting. Maybe
this time things would be different.
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Comrade Joe the Only's
alma mater |
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The latest Comrade Joe
intended to make his homeland a thriving banking haven modeled
on the Cayman Islands and a peaceful nation of industrious,
respectful and docile citizens modeled on Singapore. What
Comrade Joe likes to call "compassionate Caribbean
capitalism." At least, that was the plan.
Unfortunately, Joe the
Only has had little success in bringing any progress to
Poco Cabesa. But that doesn't mean he's stopped trying.
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Whenever you find
that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause
and reflect.
-- Mr. Twain |
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