Following the Equator.com "Down Goes Hank"

Life's a bitch and then you die.

Produced (some might say perpetrated) at the Port Royal in Oxnard, California's Channel Islands Harbor, the matter at hand the night of July 16, 1999, enticed a festively garbed audience to enter an island time-zone fueled by splendid libations, beach music, and a laugh or two on a fine summer evening.

No doubt most of them were thinking "What the hell was that all about?" by the time they pulled into the driveway at home, sobered up in the restaurant downstairs over an ahi steak, or woke up the next morning in their car in the parking lot with their underwear down around their ankles and their money gone.

But seriously, In case you were in attendance and faded after your third daiquiri or Cuba libre kicked in (which would have been at about this point) or you unfortunately missed this performance, you can click on the icon to the right to hear this program in RealAudio®.

The first episode featured, perhaps we should say manhandled the talents of Gary Best, Dwier Brown, Kim Maxwell, Zachary Pugh, Erin Whitehead, and A.J. Morgan as the Narrator.

The evening was produced by Craig Kelley, Dwier Brown and Kim Maxwell-Brown. All are currently reported as being in improved but guarded condition at the state asylum for the terminally nervous.

The author is J W Nelson (the tar and feathers are coming off quite nicely, thank you). All legal matters should be referred to the firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe, Lompoc, California, cells #301 through 303.

Somehow persuaded to appear before and after the radio-play was the extremely talented Southern California band:

(Now actively seeking new representation due to this gig)

Find out how you can acquire a high-quality recording of the episode for podcast or, should you be interested in discussing broadcast rights to this unique form of audio abuse (particularly effective if you want to shed that pesky FCC license of yours), please feel free to contact us. We'll get back to you just as soon as we can... Unless the head nurse revokes the author's mail and visitor privileges again. ... Keep a good thought.

Check back for new features on life on the island referred to on navigation maps as "Uninhabitable." Everyone will be there -- Hank, Mad Jack, Emma, Her Majesty Gert, both Comrade Joes, Cap'n Roy, Baby Willie, Henry the Pirate, Comrade Joe the First's Wife, Carl the kakapo, and the irrepressible Babala.